Grateful

November: a month when we give thanks, at least on Thanksgiving day. Of course the next day people trample one another for deals. For years I have kept a journal, actually a few, but I am sporadic. Random entries in the odd collection of journals I have acquired over time. Sadly, these journals represent the multitude of things I have started and never finished. Though I don't expect to stop writing until I end, it would be nice to have my journals in neat, chronological order.

Some of my friends think I am organized, but in true Liza fashion, I know I could be better. More importantly, I want to be better. The problem is, I want to be better in every aspect of my life. This is really impossible but I think I have come up with a solution to improve my ability to focus, finish and become better organized. I am going to slow down and concentrate on the things I am grateful for.

Although this seems counter-intuitive to accomplishing goals, I know it can work. In the frenetic, over-connected, running-to-keep-up world a little calm thankfulness might be just what I need. We accumulate things, do stuff, and earn pieces of paper that acknowledge our accomplishments. While these things can be gratifying and are certainly important (earning a Master's degree was a really big deal for me) they are only some of the moments that make up our lives.

Earlier this week my daughter received awards for perfect attendance, being a good citizen and honor roll at a school assembly. One of her certificates was missing, when it was her turn to be called and I watched her teacher fumble through the awards while my daughter stood, waiting. I saw my little person wilt before my eyes, embarrassed to be standing alone. Although it wasn't long, I know it felt like forever to her.  She was called and congratulated with a handshake and, as the ceremony continued, I saw her bounce back. After the assembly, I hugged her and reminded her that recognition is nice. Having a piece of paper that says you are good at something is also nice. But the people that know you're awesome, including her, don't need a piece of paper to tell them that.

Of course, I took pictures, shared, and will save her pieces of paper. I am proud of her because she is awesome and not just because she is smart, and went to school everyday but because she is genuinely kind and thoughtful most of the time. Like everyone, including me, she's not perfect. Which leads me back to where I began. I may not finish everything, I am only somewhat organized, but I am grateful for my rational mind. I am a sensitive, emotional, chronic over-thinker but my ability to talk myself through my thoughts and reach the most logical conclusion allows me to focus and complete tasks.

For this month my focus will be on gratitude, I will slow down, journal daily and allow myself to feel grounded and appreciative before the holiday nonsense begins in earnest. Who am I kidding? It's already begun! I guess for today I will just be grateful we don't participate in Daylight Saving Time.
Happy November! What are you grateful for?