Stage Mom

Friday night I had the privilege of watching the student directed one act plays at Gilbert High School. I had intended to go just for my daughters play (last in the line up) but her friend was in the first of the three and I wanted to support her too. I am so glad I did, Emily did a fabulous job! Set during World War II, the issues addressed were important and relevant even today. The second act was a bit of fun, with a nod to the Twilight Zone series, a favorite growing up.

The last play was The Girl at the Bottom of Lake Missoula. A serious piece about a young woman that decides to leave for college a day early. A freak tornado touches down after she goes, claiming the lives of her entire family. My daughter had the lead and conveyed the sadness, anger and survivors guilt believably and articulately, all while wearing a mask.

I shed a few tears, in part because of the story but also because she really put herself out there. It has always been in her but she has held back for one reason or another. I get that. It's scary when you put it all out there! Even though you know a critique is meant to improve the performance, it's hard to hear when you have laid yourself bare in front of an audience. I felt so proud of my girl. 

Last year I gave my daughter a bracelet that said' "If they whisper to you, "you can't withstand the storm." Whisper back, "I am the storm." I wanted her to know she could do hard things and that I believed in her. Funny, that she unleashed the storm in a play about a tornado. We have had many conversations about the fine line between genius and madness and the need to find a creative outlet to keep the crazy at bay.

Some good friends joined me for Abby's piece. I was so delighted and honored that they came. These friends are the most generous, kind and supportive. This year has mostly separated us and still, they have been incredible. Abby's first theater performances were under their direction, and they could hardly believe she is a young woman now.

I hugged and congratulated her and then let her do her thing. I encouraged her to take her time striking the set and hanging out with her fellow actors. I also encouraged her to grab a bite with a friend or friends when finished. I remember how hungry you can be after a show and how long it can take for the adrenaline to calm. I knew she needed her time before coming home.

She has always been a ham, and loved to perform for any audience but the bumpy road of adolescence and the events of the recent past have stolen a bit of her bravery. You can encourage, support, advise and model but you can not control another human being. The very act of bending another to your will always ends badly in my opinion. 

Providing a framework, or a foundation has been my approach. I have been called out for giving too many choices or doing too much for her and I have doubted myself. After seeing her perform, I did not doubt myself or her. I truly believe in loving the person she is and nurturing the person she is becoming. It's not easy because there are lessons to be taught, rules to follow, and life to navigate in a world full of conflict.

So, I left after the performance knowing she would pitch in and help. Thanking those behind the scenes for making her magic a little more magical. When she came home she was still exhilarated and full of speculation on what to do next. I shared in her excitement, feeling her joy and loving it and her. She made choices, took chances and followed through. This was a moment for both of us.

I can't take credit for her accomplishments. Other than making a solid effort at parenting, the work was hers. She stepped into the light and made it brighter and I never doubted that she could. Now she knows what she is capable of and that is worth all of the ups and downs.