Musings

I want to be more positive, kind and loving. The virtues of positive thinking are well researched, reported and guess what? Positive.  Doing things for others, giving of your time and resources are also known to reduce stress and improve mood for both the giver and receiver. In truth, I actually think it might be easier to be kind to others than to your self, at least for people like me that over think. I want to love and appreciate who I am but there are so many things I think I could do or be better at.

I guess I am not only an over thinker but a doubter as well.

Here is the problem in a nutshell: If you consider accentuating the positive shouldn’t that also extend to the positive aspects of your negative qualities? I mean there are benefits to being an over thinking doubter, right? One of the benefits of being a doubter is that I am not complacent.

I do not assume I am correct but double-check my facts before I make statements that may affect others, including myself. My ability to entertain the notion that I might be wrong helps me maintain perspective and allows me to see another point of view. At the very least, it allows me to control my emotions and be tolerant.

Doubting and over thinking helps me to put my best foot forward. I try to do a good job at home and at work. I am motivated to be a good wife, mother, teacher and friend, as much because I doubt I am, as I know that I can be. I think about the ways I might be better, the things I could have done and try to respond accordingly.

In this way doubting can be a positive but just as a little stress keeps us moving forward, too much can hold us back. When doubt progresses to obsessive, neurotic behavior, then it ceases to serve and the negative aspects outweigh the positive attributes.

The goal then, is to find balance and each individual must do this for him/her self. What works for one may not for another and the key is in being aware and paying attention. Notice what works for you, what feels good, right and true but also be mindful that this may change over time and circumstance. To be aware of yourself and your tendencies, to strive for personal balance and apply the two consistently is what I refer to as the ABC’s (awareness, balance, consistency) for a healthy, happy life.

I am sure if nothing else, I have convinced readers that I am in fact an over thinker and a doubter but I also hope that I have shown that the two are not always bad and that nearly every quality lives on a continuum between positive and negative. Duality applies to many areas and merits considerable thought but I will stop here because I am aware that sometimes I go too far. That said, I am going to find someone to practice being kind, loving, and positive with. Or maybe I just did? I don’t know. I’m not sure.