When I get address labels from organizations seeking funds, I remove my information and put a dollar or two in the return envelope. I use amazonsmile and donate to the local pug rescue, check here for more info- http://smile.amazon.com/about. I also use escrip-http://www.escrip.com/index.jsp as well as linking my grocery shopping card and clip box tops to benefit my daughter's school. I have given students extra credit for donating 2 nonperishable items and dropped it off the local food bank.
Occasionally, I break with anonymity and give food to a homeless person, or coupons that I'm not using to fellow shoppers or friends. The look of surprised delight is pretty satisfying but I never give money. Money makes me feel awkward and this is my own issue but usually I feel good about the ways I have found to deal with it.
As a child with a low socioeconomic status aka poor kid, I was conscious from an early age that I lived in rental houses in less than desirable neighborhoods. I even dumpster-dived and went to the rescue mission during particularly tough times. Because of this I am empathetic with those that are struggling but have found money doesn't always help. Maybe this is a trust issue and quite possibly about judgement but most of all experience has informed.
When I was a young adult with a full time job, both my mother and my sister would come to me for money. I gave when I could, even taking an advance on my paycheck to buy prescription glasses for my mom. In that instance I knew where the money went, at least most of it, but I suspected the money was not always used for what the borrower said it was for. I was never paid back which didn't bother me but the expectation that I would always come through did. Money and the emotional baggage that comes with it has taken a toll on my family. There are members of the family that have made good financial decisions and there are those that have not. I have been in both camps but, thankfully, mostly the former.
Yesterday I learned a lesson in kindness that made me question my no money policy. I have been working with an older gentleman at the college fitness center for about a year. He is able to come through a program offered with his health insurance. He doesn't drive and lost his lower left leg to diabetes. His consistency is admirable especially considering he must walk and ride the bus to come and work out. It is paying off and you can see the improvement in his posture and ability to move through the center without his cane.
In spite of this, he is often down because he struggles financially often foregoing prescribed medications because he can't afford them. I have gotten to know him fairly well and though I don't fully understand his situation, I want to help. I have given him some clothing, items my husband was ready to donate. My colleagues and I have sent him home with food from the school holiday potluck.
Most importantly, I talk to and listen in between sets on the various pieces of equipment at the gym.
Yesterday he told me indirectly that he needed five dollars for medicine. I told him I don't carry cash and he said he wasn't asking me just talking.
I really wanted to give him the money but don't want to set a precedent and create an awkward situation. I was conflicted and mentioned the situation to a fellow employee during the shift change. This happened once before at Thanksgiving, which really made me feel guilty. Yesterday there were three student workers, myself and the other adjunct and as I gathered my things to leave I saw one of the guys pull some money from his wallet. My old guy had just left but one of the workers counted out ten ones and followed him out the door unnoticed except by me. When he came in I told him that was a nice thing to do and he just shrugged and smiled. Work study students don't make a lot of money and he generously gave twice as much as asked for. It really is true that it is often those with the least that give the most. It was a beautiful gesture and a lesson learned. We can all do better.
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