That's Amore

My Book Club recently read and discussed One Italian Summer. One of the things I enjoyed most about the book were the delightful descriptions of food and wine. It made me hungry and wanting to expand my cooking repertoire. I remember feeling similarly when I read Under the Tuscan Sun (totally different than the movie) and Eat, Pray, Love.

Recently, a friend and book club member gave me a couple of books (is there any better gift?) including Sunrise By The Sea. Though the book is set in Great Britain, one of the central characters is of Italian descent. Suffering from depression, anxiety and rapidly becoming agoraphobic, Marissa begins to cook with her Italian Grandmother via Skype. The relationship fills a void for both of them after the death of her Grandfather and helps Marissa return to the pleasure of cooking and eating again.

I haven't finished reading the book but I happened across this article The Pasta Sauce Hailed as the World’s Best Is Surprisingly Easy to Make at Home. After reading it, I knew I had to make this sauce and give it a try. The recipe comes from Essentials of Classic Italian Cooking by Marcella Hazan. My sister has a copy and makes the Bolognese Sauce which is also quite delicious but includes ground beef. Alas, my daughter is vegetarian and I do not eat red meat so, with just three ingredients that did not include meat this sauce seemed perfect.

I forced myself to follow the recipe exactly. I always do the first time I make something but I can't help wanting to tweak things based on my own preferences. I really wanted to add garlic to this but chose to satisfy that urge by making garlic bread to go with the pasta and sauce. I chose to listen to Italian Dinner Music and sip an inexpensive red wine to fully enjoy and immerse myself in the experience.

I am only half way through the book but I relate to Marissa so strongly. Though not debilitated by my mental health issues, I have definitely experienced anxiety, and depression. Finding small pleasures such as cooking and reading are so important when you are in a dark place. It can be hard to find the desire, time or energy but it is important to get a foothold when you are in despair.

I ran into a friend this morning that shared her own mental health challenges and I listened, encouraged and did my best to support her in our brief encounter. I think we could all benefit from feeling heard with compassion. So often people want to fix the problem or the person and are uncomfortable hearing that someone they know and care for is in pain. Marissa experiences this as does Katy in One Italian Summer after the death of her mother. Though very different characters, both are grieving and experience a lack of understanding along with an expectation of a timeline for getting over it. 

There is no timeline when you lose someone. Birthdays, anniversaries of their passing and every holiday makes you think of them. Songs, places, people, it all hurts in the beginning. The pain fades with time but sometimes the longing for the lost loved one hits you like a sucker punch just when you think you have learned to live with the loss. For all of my grieving friends, find your people, know you are not alone and seek small pleasures where you can.

Ten minutes into cooking, my house smelled delightful. The music was playing softly in the background. The sauce was amazing! Simple and surprisingly clean considering the amount of butter. My garlic bread was a bit overdone but still tasty. If you are serving more than a couple of people, consider doubling the recipe. 

Some years ago, my nephew was stationed in Italy and invited me to visit. I have never enjoyed traveling (it's the getting there) but like exploring new places. I allowed my "play it safe" mentality to prevent me from taking the chance and I do regret that. But, I can experience a place I love to read about through food and wine. Though it is not the same, reading takes me to different places and times. Cooking and music allows me to feel connected to those places and times. I hope you find and pursue some simple pleasures on your terms. Connection is so important.