The nights are stretching further into the day, with sunrise coming later and sunset coming sooner. We had a fantastic storm last night on the heels of a beautiful harvest moon. This morning the temperature was lower than the humidity, 76 degrees to 78 percent respectively. A light, almost cool breeze made walking more pleasurable than it has been. I enjoy walking my dog each morning but the heat and humidity have been oppressive this monsoon season. Fortunately, we've received a good amount of much needed rain.
It is nearly fall but any desert dweller, transplant or native, knows summer does not go quietly. Halloween costumes must be considered carefully knowing it is still likely to be uncomfortable in heavy apparel. None-the-less, I am anticipating the change. The cooler weather, decorating, passing out candy, making Thanksgiving dinner. I often say I'm more of a sweater than a swimsuit person and I can feel my time is coming!
I think cautious optimism may be in the air. The hope that life is returning to something resembling normal however defined. The hunger for stability, simplicity and above all, harmony. I've shared that many in my circle have uttered the words, "I don't know what's wrong with me." Recently, a friend told me that she just feels "off" and couldn't quite describe it. I said I thought that collectively we had a low grade fever of agitation and disappointment. She grasped that thought, repeating it to herself and even writing it down. To me, it is the crux of our dis-ease. A maelstrom of forced change, uncertainty and societal angst. We are tired and wired, the effects of chronic stress.
September is national self-care awareness month. A great opportunity to find and do the things that make you feel good. I had a mani-pedi last week and have tried to incorporate small acts of care for myself each day. I am also working on bigger changes but at a much slower pace. I meditate each morning but have begun to carve out a little time for myofascial release prior to my walk and stretching post.
My body is tired. Not just the muscle soreness that is normal in my profession but skeletal discomfort and mental fatigue. I have decided to scale back my physical teaching, looking for the right number of classes and formats that allow me to feel and give my best. It can be difficult to prioritize your own well-being but choosing to do so is an important step. So many care givers of any sort are plagued with a sense of duty and guilt for possibly letting someone down. On the other side of that can be irritability and resentment.
So each day, I do some small self-care practice like writing, stretching, making myself a good meal. 
Each week, I am doing something a little bigger like the mani-pedi last week, the facial this week, hair next week and a massage the following. I know, it's a splurge but I think about how I can drop big money shopping for my daughter at Target. Quietly putting things I wanted back to save money so she can get what she wants and needs. I think most Mom's can relate but this month, I'm not going to martyr myself...much. For the record, I do say no and call her attention to wants vs needs but it's an exhausting lesson to teach and line to hold.
Sometimes the very people we care about the most, struggle to support our efforts to prioritize our own well-being and self-care. Not because they're uncaring but because when you are the one that regularly gives more, and makes sacrifices, the people in your circle learn that their needs matter more. Maybe not consciously, but inadvertently.
I have often said that it feels difficult to maintain boundaries without keeping score but it is important to try. This is why, small acts of kindness and self-care matter. You are demonstrating that you are an important contributor to the family, team, relationship, etc. You are reminding others and maybe yourself that you matter. So, take a stab at showing yourself some love because you are worthy of at least a little bit of the care and effort you put into everyone and everything else!
This is a favorite meditation of mine-
https://insighttimer.com/barbarafaison/guided-meditations/hooponopono-a-self-forgiveness-practice
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