I was 18 the first time I went to Disneyland. It also happened to be the first time I had flown on an airplane. I returned 12 years later when an evening at Disneyland was included as part of the IDEA Personal Training Summit. I mostly helped my room mate from Chicago find souveneirs for her kids & spouse. The other two roommates from China liked to stay out late and party!
The next time I went to Disneyland was a full 19 years later! Abby was 8 and I was approaching 49. It was a family trip with Dad, Grandma, Abby & I. Just after Christmas, so the decor and attractions were still there. Though we had fun, there was already strain in my marriage and the most fun I had was when Abby & I went to the park alone. Some people were surprised I waited so long. I wanted to go when our daughter was old enough to walk and handle long days and would also remember the trip.
Fast forward nearly nine years later and my girl and I went to Disneyland, just the two of us. In the last few years we have only taken a couple other road trips and we needed to get away. I asked my girl what sounded fun during Fall Break and close to her birthday. She chose Disneyland! It has felt like one thing after the next with the most recent negative experience, an active shooter threat that ended her homecoming dance early and freaked everyone out.
So, I planned the trip and did what I always do...looked for the best deal and the optimal time to go. I am currently doing a lot of training for one of my employers and the schedule this month is busy. It was either this weekend or the last weekend of the month. Abby didn't want to travel on Halloween so, this was our weekend! I worked Friday morning until noon and she had a partial school day. I picked her up at 1:30 after stressing myself out and trying to do too much before I left.
With the dog safely at the dog sitter and the cat in the care of an amazing friend, I loaded up the car with my suitcase, backpack, a cooler with snacks & drinks, a blanket and neck pillow for Abby & a book to listen to. I picked up my girl at her Dad's & we were on the road. We encountered the worst traffic of the trip after making our way through Phoenix and heading West. Eventually the traffic and construction eased up around Tolleson and we made good time to Quartzsite where I stopped for gas.
After fueling up, we made our way to Palm Springs to meet my brother. I hadn't seen my brother in years, not since he retired and moved from Oakland! We arrived at about 6 and hung out and talked for awhile. Later his friend and caregiver came over and we went to dinner. My brother is 17 years my senior and has had some physical challenges that require some in home care. Other than that, he was still the same and we had a nice time reminiscing and enjoying a meal.
We left early the next day, leaving a note for my still sleeping brother. He is more of a night owl (like my daughter) and I am a lark. On the road at 7:30, my girl slept her way to the motel. I had purchased a package with a "Good Neighbor" rather than staying at a Disney resort. I have stayed at a Disney resort two other times and while they were nice, they weren't really any closer and about a thousand dollars more. Frugal me, just couldn't do it so, we stayed at the Motel 6 Anaheim Main gate. The walk was about the same to Disney, with fewer people.
Foolish me, I thought the reservation system would make the crowds smaller but it did not! The mornings weren't too bad and since we arrived at the hotel at 9:30 and the Disney resort at 10:00, I decided to spring for the Disney Genie Plus for $20 bucks each. This allowed us to take advantage of the Lightening Lanes but after a day of navigating limitations, I chose not to do it on Sunday. The mornings and early afternoons were pretty good but as the day turned to night the throng of people became overwhelming!
There were definitely more people than the last time I was there and the sea of strollers and mobility scooters was intense. I do not begrudge anyone but we felt defenseless without something between us and the crowds. We bobbed and weaved our way through for the most part but did not attend any evening events because by then both of us felt so anxious we needed to leave.
Both nights we got trapped in stores. The first night Abby grabbed my hand and as we navigated our way out of the store, I heard a man say, "did you just push me?' in a confrontational way. I never looked back. We were swallowed by the throng of people and escaped into the night! The second night was just as bad and I sent my girl outside while I purchased the item she had chosen for a friend. When I finally emerged, her panic attack had subsided and she had made some friends at a Downtown Disney kiosk.
We did have a lot of fun but there were many not fun things. People walked several bodies wide, oblivious to others. You have the right to walk at your own pace but it would be nice if you left some passing room. I walk quickly and so does my girl. Most people meander and that is their prerogative but it shouldn't make it impossible to pass. We did not encounter too many people with manners. Rarely was there an excuse me or even an awareness of others as people abruptly stopped to talk to each other or look at their phones. It just felt like a frenetic free for all! Disney- Prices, Passes, People
None-the-less, we did have fun! Despite the fact that I broke my sunglasses piloting the Millennium Falcon, or that the Haunted House broke down while we were in line or even that there was a key card fiasco at our hotel, we still had fun. I purchased some new sunglasses, the ride was fixed while we waited (plus we moved up a lot as people with less patience left for other options) and the hotel managed the situation as well as I think they could have.
The best food we had was at the Anaheim Garden Walk. After scoping out the place, we decided on the Mexican Restaurant. As I waited to put my name in, the person in front of me asked their question and then moved aside. The hostess looked at me and walked away without a word. I decided I would order at the pop-up taco stand not far from the restaurant and had the best Chipotle shrimp street tacos.
It was a great escape for the two of us and some good Mother Daughter time. We laughed at some of the overheard conversations. Mother to child with Dad a few feet in front, "I don't know where Daddy is going, he's not being a good communicator." Preteen boy to another preteen boy, "who's your favorite serial killer?" Should I be afraid? Best thing we saw, a Mom in the Disney stroller with her child while husband pushed. Abby & I thought maybe we should get one of those strollers and take turns pushing each other! Everyone else seemed to have a battering ram, why not us?
I'm impressed with the people that go often and with very small children. My anxiety gets to me in these situations and was worse for my child who doesn't have the years of practice or the tools that I have gathered over my lifetime. I had shared with my sister, that I was less concerned about Covid and more concerned about the social mood, especially in large groups. I wasn't wrong. There is just a lot of anger and indifference in the world. A sense that people are looking for conflict. That feeling makes me want to stay at home.
Maybe you don't feel it, and I am glad for you. The agitation of being hyper aware is exhausting and being oblivious sounds like a luxury I will never experience. While I was on my vacation I spent time emailing and texting one employer to make sure my classes were covered. I checked my other work email to ensure my online students had "regular and substantive interaction". There is no reward for this, no extra pay, no kudos. Your efforts are only noticed if you fail to do the work. Is it any wonder people are quiet quitting?
My daughter will be 17 this week. She has struggled and she has prevailed and the cycle has been challenging. If I'm being honest, I have also found myself in the spin cycle of life. I am currently trying to make something happen. To put more effort into a single employer that has encouraged and supported me tangibly, not just with words. I like all of my places of employment for different reasons but some are limited in the structure and I am looking to focus on my personal and professional growth. I must go where there are opportunities but it feels so selfish to prioritize my career and my financial well-being. So, here I am, trying to show my daughter that it is possible to be a kind, caring person and still prioritize yourself. If I can make it happen, I think I'll actually find the Happiest Place on Earth!
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