Monday, August 26, 2019

Manic Monday

I thought today might be the day. Ironically it is National Dog Day. My pug Brody started having seizures last summer. I took him to the vet and then the neurologist. After a thorough examination, I was given a prescription for anti-convulsants and a recommendation for an MRI. I decided to start with the meds and monitor his seizures. I kept track of the frequency on my calendar and read countless articles, blogs and spoke with my dog-loving friends.

At first the seizures were 5 or 6 weeks apart. Around Thanksgiving, while walking Brody, he ran into a pile of bulk trash sitting on the curb awaiting the monthly pick up. I thought he wasn’t paying attention, he’s a little high strung. His eye looked alright in spite of a little winking but I took him to the vet just in case. His seizures still seemed to be a month or so apart but he had stopped jumping off the couch and bed, or going downstairs. He still jumped up but seemed to have lost his depth perception.

Then, one week, he had three seizures and we were back at the neurologists office. This time, epilepsy was ruled out and it was determined his increasing lack of vision was due to brain inflammation, not blindness. In addition to the anti-convulsants, he was prescribed prednisone for the inflammation. Again, an MRI was suggested.

Here’s the issue with the MRI: We would be putting a dog with neurological issues under anesthesia, which was/is a concern. The two possibilities for diagnosis were a tumor of some sort or encephalitis. I would not have brain surgery on my dog. The treatment protocol for encephalitis was what we were doing. Friends with a dog that has seizures had an MRI and it came back inconclusive. An MRI for a dog is three thousand dollars and it didn’t seem like it was worth the risk or expense under the circumstances.

Initially, the prednisone made a big difference and it seemed like we were getting our boy back. Of course there were side effects, agitation being the most notable. As I noted, my dog is already anxiety-prone but I kept at it because he wasn’t having seizures, and his vision had improved as the brain swelling diminished.

The neurologist had me decrease the prednisone dosage from 10 mg to 5 and then to 2.5. Brody had a couple of seizures and we went back to 5 mg of the prednisone. Steroids are a short-term solution and soon Brody was experiencing diarrhea, random patches of fur fell out and the worst part, the meds were no longer controlling the inflammation. Sometimes he walks like a drunkard, his legs not quite remembering how to work. Sometimes he seems confused. Most of the time he can barely see and runs into things. He still has more good days than bad and I am committed to taking the best care of him that I can until it is time to say goodbye.

So, back to today. I couldn’t wake him up but he was breathing. I normally put his harness on him and carry him out to the dog stroller. It’s still pretty hot, so I use a cooling mat to keep him comfortable. When we get to the shady greenbelt, I take him out and have him walk, and do his business. When I took him out today, his legs didn’t work. I carefully put him back in the stroller and he laid on his side like he might have a seizure. Luckily he didn’t. After a bit, I tried again and this time got him to take care of business but he wasn’t up to much more.

I got him home and managed to get his meds in him but he was so lethargic he just laid down in the middle of the kitchen. I picked him up, snuggled him into his dog bed, made sure the ceiling fan was on and the thermostat set. I had to work and leaving him was hard. I considered calling the vet to start the conversation that feels both impossible and inevitable. I decided to wait and see how he was when I got home and he seemed much better. Interested in eating, went outside to take care of business and was the current version of normal.

Life has been particularly emotional and draining for me lately but I don’t want to let him go when he still enjoys his walks (mostly) his food, and his belly rubs. It is heartbreaking to watch someone you love deteriorate but care giving is a labor of love. Brody is a rescue, supposedly only going on 9 years old. He’s a goofy little pug, annoying at times but has been such a sweet friend to me. What else can I do but return the favor?

No comments: